I hate when you're trying to do something, and you get it done, and then you turn around and everything you just finished doing, is ruined. Namely, cleaning.
I don't mind cleaning. In fact I sometimes enjoy it. I hate folding laundry, and I hate handwashing dishes, but aside from those two, there really isn't anything that bothers me. I enjoy cleaning bathrooms however, which is a little odd cause that's the dirtiest place, which is possibly why I enjoy cleaning up that grossness.
Either way, it's really annoying when you go and you clean up something and then it gets dirtied again. I have this weird thing where if I clean the sinks, I dry them afterwards, and as long as it's that same day, I try to keep the sinks dry. It's a little OCD but hey, whatever, that's my thing.
I'm not the biggest neat freak on the planet, I can go awhile without cleaning but then it comes down to that point where you just can't let it go another day. Such was the case yesterday. I did about half of the tasks I wanted to do, and then I ended up leaving the house.
Today I was going to finish cleaning the house in the morning, but decided it best to leave it for a day where I can just clean and there's no other plans until it's done. Right now my friend Marco and his girlfriend are in the city so I've been visiting with them. So tonight while I was laying around watching tv I decided I would make some cookies (it was 11pm.) So I whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies, which then makes me want to clean up the mess so I have some nice cookies baked in a clean kitchen. So I cleaned. Then I did a couple loads of laundry. And I tidied the bathroom I cleaned yesterday, and cleaned the sink again. (With two girls in the house using the same bathroom, the combination of makeup, hair product, and fallen out hair that ends up in the sink is surprisingly disgusting.)
Then my roommate came home, and was drunk as hell, and puked her guts out. Not a problem, I really don't care. But when I went to use the bathroom, there was puke on the wall, on the scale, all over the toilet, and on the floor. Not to mention on the roll of toilet paper itself. I have no idea how anyone gets puke all over the place, but I understand it happens and normally it's not a big deal. But I just fucking cleaned the bathroom. So I wiped up her puke, wiped down the sink, again, and let it be for the night.
Annoyed.
Like I said, normally, not a big deal. BUT I JUST CLEANED IT.
Maybe I'm just cranky because my ovary fuckin hurts, or maybe I'm just turning into some insane potential house wife, who knows, but I know I'm not the only person who gets irritated when things get messy after you spent hours cleaning.
Seriously; would love to rip my ovary out of my stupid body right about now.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I ain't got time for the game
I'm taking a 5 minute break to blog. It'll end up being more than 5 minutes but that's okay.
I'm working on cleaning the house top to bottom, since usually Krystal and I clean in sections. Our bedrooms are the only places we really worry about since they are ours and we can keep them however we please, but the livingroom and kitchen often go dismissed and that bugs me sometimes. I hate cleaning when she's here because I feel like I'm getting in her way or being too loud or whatever else, so I wait until there's a day where I know she won't be home until late so I can clean all day if I want to. That is the case for today.
I set my alarm for 9:30 this morning, even though it was about 3 when I went to bed. But then my friend decided he would text me at quarter to 7 in the morning... and all it said was "Hey what's up" ... are you kidding me? haha I was pissed, so I ignored it and went back to sleep. I kept having the craziest dreams though and they were really upsetting dreams so I ended up laying in bed till 2 this afternoon just trying to go to sleep for a little bit without actually dreaming. Surprisingly for what little comfortable sleep I got, I feel energetic.
One of my dreams consisted of running into my ex boyfriend at the safeway in the customer service line. That is a moment I probably dread every day of my life because I feel like if I ever see him again I will freeze up and go into full panic attack mode. I walked past him towards the door to leave the store but he caught me and started to strike up a conversation. Then randomly he invited me out to dinner with his dad and his dad's girlfriend. It was really odd. The only thing that was comforting about the whole situation was that in my dream Andy got fat. A pathetic thing to be comforted by, but I guess if I feel like if I look better than he does then I am better. Odd analogy but whatever.
Anyways, so for some reason I accepted the offer and went out to have a conversation with just him at first at some restaurant. I ordered water so that I had the ability to ditch out whenever I felt necessary and wouldn't have to worry about paying a bill. I proceeded to dump on him about how childish he was for cheating on me for 2 months and not having the balls to just break up with me, and how careless he was being. I was told that he felt I was such a nice girl that he didn't have the heart to break up with me... yes but cheating on me for 2 months sure shows what a big heart you have. Whatever.
I spoke my mind for awhile and claimed that for someone who was 5 years older than me, his maturity level was clearly not, even if he felt otherwise. Then I left my half full glass of water and walked out of the restaurant. He had parked beside me so I grabbed my CD's out of his truck (long story on it's own there) and went home.
For some weird reason I went for dinner with his dad and his dads girlfriend, (Andy was not there but his twin brother 'Gord' was) and sat down for an awkward dinner. I left relatively early but before I had left his dad said to me "You were always such a nice girl, way too nice for someone like Andy." and then I left.
Weird and totally random.
After that retarded dream I slipped into another one where some of my friends from Mackenzie were there and most people I know from Vancouver as well. We were all at some huge funeral for this guy, but the church was being remodelled so we were following the paul bearers with their casket around this huge maze of construction to finally come to a small room with nicely placed chairs. Dario had to leave to help with something and everyone was wondering why I was still there, but I had known the man who died from years before apparently so I explained this and sat down for the ceremony.
The whole setting changed and all of a sudden we were in some beautiful garden with white tent covering things everywhere. I have no idea what they're actually called, but they're those things Dario's parents put up in their yard when they have parties. Everyone had gathered and were taking sheets of music with the lyrics on them, and people started playing instruments while some of us sang. Dario finally came back from helping with something else
Again, totally random. I woke up again at that point so I have no idea what else happened but it was just really odd.
Those were the most bothersome two. The one with Andy just pissed me off because I am terrified of that exact situation. Mostly because I know he would probably act as though nothing ever happened. I guess there's just a lot that I wish I could have said to him to get off my chest, but when things ended I decided to take the high road and just never talk to him or express any of the feelings I had. I chose to leave him be along with the "lovely friend" of his that he cheated on me with. I wrote her an e-mail when I found out, and it just expressed my disappointment in her. I didn't swear at her, I didn't call her a whore (even though I would have loved to do all of that) and I didn't say anything that was remotely derogatory to her.
I guess I still hold a little bit of a grudge towards both of them, but I wouldn't even go so far as to say it's really even a grudge, I would say it's more of a "I can't believe you would be so stupid!" and a "I can't believe I was so stupid."
I just hate leaving things unfinished. I hate not being able to express myself and my feelings when I feel it's necessary, and in this case it was better to just walk away from it all together than to try to say anything hurtful to them. They wouldn't have cared anyways, they clearly didn't care to begin with so why would they later? There's just so many things that I'm upset with Andy for because of the amount of crap I had to deal with for so long afterwards. I want to be able to tell him all of the crap I went through to have a relationship with him and how it clearly wasn't worth any of my efforts. I want to tell him what I had to deal with after everything was over because of him, and how it could have easily ruined my life. And no, it doesn't have to do with him betraying me, or hurting my feelings, or "damaging me emotionally" ... I actually don't give two shits about the betrayal of our relationship. I don't think I ever even actually cried about that. I wasn't upset at all, I had suspected he was so when suspicions became confirmations I had already accepted it in so many ways. The part of his cheating that upset me was the fact that he was being SO careless about what he could have done to me. He could have easily contracted something and given it to me, he could have easily ruined the rest of my life because of his selfishness. And it was hell having to go do every test in the book to assure my health was still okay. Not to mention the embarrassment of having to do that in a small town. Everyone knows your name, everyone knows that you're being tested for all these things, and your only thoughts are 'oh my god people are going to think I'm a whore.'
Much of it is my own fault for being way too trusting so lesson learned there, I don't regret the relationship with him, I don't regret dating him, I regret being so stupid about it all. It was one of those "Should have listened to my brain when I was noticing how red his nose was for someone who wasn't sick" type things.
Ah well, I guess the dream sort of gave me a bit of closure on it because it made me feel like I had finally gotten out what I wanted to say to him. Even if it was in a completely indirect way.
In other news, my mom called the other day to tell me that she will be in Vancouver for some course for work on the 18th of December. So she booked a return flight for the 20th so she could fly up there with me. So that will be kind of nice, I won't have to sit beside people I don't know and end up having odd conversations about their botox, like what happened the last time I flew.
I did my first EI report today and then on Saturday I do another one. Kind of nice to get it over with so hopefully the process won't take as long as it did the last time I was on EI. (4 weeks ugh.)
But I suppose that "5" minute break I took has turned into a little more than that, and cleaning awaits me.
I'm working on cleaning the house top to bottom, since usually Krystal and I clean in sections. Our bedrooms are the only places we really worry about since they are ours and we can keep them however we please, but the livingroom and kitchen often go dismissed and that bugs me sometimes. I hate cleaning when she's here because I feel like I'm getting in her way or being too loud or whatever else, so I wait until there's a day where I know she won't be home until late so I can clean all day if I want to. That is the case for today.
I set my alarm for 9:30 this morning, even though it was about 3 when I went to bed. But then my friend decided he would text me at quarter to 7 in the morning... and all it said was "Hey what's up" ... are you kidding me? haha I was pissed, so I ignored it and went back to sleep. I kept having the craziest dreams though and they were really upsetting dreams so I ended up laying in bed till 2 this afternoon just trying to go to sleep for a little bit without actually dreaming. Surprisingly for what little comfortable sleep I got, I feel energetic.
One of my dreams consisted of running into my ex boyfriend at the safeway in the customer service line. That is a moment I probably dread every day of my life because I feel like if I ever see him again I will freeze up and go into full panic attack mode. I walked past him towards the door to leave the store but he caught me and started to strike up a conversation. Then randomly he invited me out to dinner with his dad and his dad's girlfriend. It was really odd. The only thing that was comforting about the whole situation was that in my dream Andy got fat. A pathetic thing to be comforted by, but I guess if I feel like if I look better than he does then I am better. Odd analogy but whatever.
Anyways, so for some reason I accepted the offer and went out to have a conversation with just him at first at some restaurant. I ordered water so that I had the ability to ditch out whenever I felt necessary and wouldn't have to worry about paying a bill. I proceeded to dump on him about how childish he was for cheating on me for 2 months and not having the balls to just break up with me, and how careless he was being. I was told that he felt I was such a nice girl that he didn't have the heart to break up with me... yes but cheating on me for 2 months sure shows what a big heart you have. Whatever.
I spoke my mind for awhile and claimed that for someone who was 5 years older than me, his maturity level was clearly not, even if he felt otherwise. Then I left my half full glass of water and walked out of the restaurant. He had parked beside me so I grabbed my CD's out of his truck (long story on it's own there) and went home.
For some weird reason I went for dinner with his dad and his dads girlfriend, (Andy was not there but his twin brother 'Gord' was) and sat down for an awkward dinner. I left relatively early but before I had left his dad said to me "You were always such a nice girl, way too nice for someone like Andy." and then I left.
Weird and totally random.
After that retarded dream I slipped into another one where some of my friends from Mackenzie were there and most people I know from Vancouver as well. We were all at some huge funeral for this guy, but the church was being remodelled so we were following the paul bearers with their casket around this huge maze of construction to finally come to a small room with nicely placed chairs. Dario had to leave to help with something and everyone was wondering why I was still there, but I had known the man who died from years before apparently so I explained this and sat down for the ceremony.
The whole setting changed and all of a sudden we were in some beautiful garden with white tent covering things everywhere. I have no idea what they're actually called, but they're those things Dario's parents put up in their yard when they have parties. Everyone had gathered and were taking sheets of music with the lyrics on them, and people started playing instruments while some of us sang. Dario finally came back from helping with something else
Again, totally random. I woke up again at that point so I have no idea what else happened but it was just really odd.
Those were the most bothersome two. The one with Andy just pissed me off because I am terrified of that exact situation. Mostly because I know he would probably act as though nothing ever happened. I guess there's just a lot that I wish I could have said to him to get off my chest, but when things ended I decided to take the high road and just never talk to him or express any of the feelings I had. I chose to leave him be along with the "lovely friend" of his that he cheated on me with. I wrote her an e-mail when I found out, and it just expressed my disappointment in her. I didn't swear at her, I didn't call her a whore (even though I would have loved to do all of that) and I didn't say anything that was remotely derogatory to her.
I guess I still hold a little bit of a grudge towards both of them, but I wouldn't even go so far as to say it's really even a grudge, I would say it's more of a "I can't believe you would be so stupid!" and a "I can't believe I was so stupid."
I just hate leaving things unfinished. I hate not being able to express myself and my feelings when I feel it's necessary, and in this case it was better to just walk away from it all together than to try to say anything hurtful to them. They wouldn't have cared anyways, they clearly didn't care to begin with so why would they later? There's just so many things that I'm upset with Andy for because of the amount of crap I had to deal with for so long afterwards. I want to be able to tell him all of the crap I went through to have a relationship with him and how it clearly wasn't worth any of my efforts. I want to tell him what I had to deal with after everything was over because of him, and how it could have easily ruined my life. And no, it doesn't have to do with him betraying me, or hurting my feelings, or "damaging me emotionally" ... I actually don't give two shits about the betrayal of our relationship. I don't think I ever even actually cried about that. I wasn't upset at all, I had suspected he was so when suspicions became confirmations I had already accepted it in so many ways. The part of his cheating that upset me was the fact that he was being SO careless about what he could have done to me. He could have easily contracted something and given it to me, he could have easily ruined the rest of my life because of his selfishness. And it was hell having to go do every test in the book to assure my health was still okay. Not to mention the embarrassment of having to do that in a small town. Everyone knows your name, everyone knows that you're being tested for all these things, and your only thoughts are 'oh my god people are going to think I'm a whore.'
Much of it is my own fault for being way too trusting so lesson learned there, I don't regret the relationship with him, I don't regret dating him, I regret being so stupid about it all. It was one of those "Should have listened to my brain when I was noticing how red his nose was for someone who wasn't sick" type things.
Ah well, I guess the dream sort of gave me a bit of closure on it because it made me feel like I had finally gotten out what I wanted to say to him. Even if it was in a completely indirect way.
In other news, my mom called the other day to tell me that she will be in Vancouver for some course for work on the 18th of December. So she booked a return flight for the 20th so she could fly up there with me. So that will be kind of nice, I won't have to sit beside people I don't know and end up having odd conversations about their botox, like what happened the last time I flew.
I did my first EI report today and then on Saturday I do another one. Kind of nice to get it over with so hopefully the process won't take as long as it did the last time I was on EI. (4 weeks ugh.)
But I suppose that "5" minute break I took has turned into a little more than that, and cleaning awaits me.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
6 Things That Make Me Happy
I've been tagged. So I'm just saying 6 things that make me happy, and pretty much everyone else I know through blogs has been tagged so i'm just leaving it at this. In no particular order:
1) Going for a drive without any destination listening to my favourite songs
2) Curling up in warm blankets and freshly washed sheets (all straight out of the dryer)
3) Puppies/dogs, kittens/cats, anything fuzzy and cuddly basically
4) Cuddles with Dario
5) Guns haha. That includes hunting and just shooting random crap for target practice
6) 25-30 degree weather with a slight breeze
1) Going for a drive without any destination listening to my favourite songs
2) Curling up in warm blankets and freshly washed sheets (all straight out of the dryer)
3) Puppies/dogs, kittens/cats, anything fuzzy and cuddly basically
4) Cuddles with Dario
5) Guns haha. That includes hunting and just shooting random crap for target practice
6) 25-30 degree weather with a slight breeze
Chili and a Cake
I hate when facebook is being retarded and only lets you upload pictures 5 at a time. I keep trying it the java program way but it keeps exiting the web page so I've given up. At least I didn't take a million pictures so it doesn't take ten years. It starts working then it gets all screwed up and I have no idea what's going on. I wish I was a little more computer savvy but HAH like that'll ever happen.
Anyways...
The weekend was a good one. On Friday Dario came over and after he left I decided that I would meet up with Leaura (lee-are-ah) at the Foggy Dew for her b-day. She finally turned 19 which is insane because she always seemed so much older to me... might have something to do with the fact that she's lived on her own since she was 16 haha. WHO KNOWS!! I had debated going but knew she would be upset if I didn't because we haven't seen eachother in a little while, and it ended up being a very entertaining night so I'm glad I went.
Just as I expected it was a sea of 19 year old boys with fauxhawks and affliction shirts so I used that to entertain myself. At one point there was a guy completely imitating chuck liddel but doing a HORRIBLE job of representation as the back of his shirt had a bunch of ice cream cones on it. HAH. I pointed out how lame his shirt was, and made sure I said it loud enough for him to hear, all the while pointing at him to assure him once more that I was in fact talking about his shitty t-shirt.
I hit 32 fauxhawks when I stopped counting. I openly mocked people all night and even pretended to be a lesbian when someone tried to hit on me. I had two girls come up to ask if I would go talk to their friend because he thought I was cute, and I informed them of my boyfriend and told them no thanks... but I didn't look over at the guy. So after they left I looked over and was just like 'oh my god what is he, 12?' He looked SO young. Then I looked back at the girls and realized that they were probably barely 19 if even 19 at all. It was absolutely ridiculous the whole night.
I ran into some guy that I recognized from Prince George. Since I couldn't remember where I knew him from or why I was recognizing his face, I rudely and very bluntly asked him who the hell he was. He told me I had no manners and I agreed that it was true but that I didn't care, and proceeded to ask again "Why do I know your face?" ... He told me his name was Jay so it wasn't ringing any bells, and then he mentioned he was from PG and it all came flooding in. His name was actually Joel, and he had tried to pick me up years ago at Earl's in PG when I was like 17 max, and then I also remembered I knew him through my ex so I just instantly hated him all over again haha. He's such a creepy guy and I'd heard a lot of rumours about him, and his friends are really slimey also. At the end of the night I saw him grabbing this girl by her hair going 'where do you think you're going?' and walked out with her. Like UGH woman, take a fucking hint! I'd have punched him in the face if he did that to me. Not to mention kick him in the junk.
So after the disaster that is the foggy dew, I went to bed and woke up Saturday to spend a bit of time with Dario. We hung out and watched some tv then I went home to get ready for Alicia's birthday. I met Danielle at her place and we skytrained it to Adams house for some pre-drinking and visiting. Adams roommate had two bunnies and now I'm obsessed with them all over again and want one. I've always had rabbits growing up so I kinda miss their cute cuddliness!
We did a bunch of visiting and mocked Adam's pathetic mustache attempt only to find out that he'd actually trimmed it so he didn't look so trashy for Alicia's party. Awww <3.
Around 9:30 or 10 we accomplished getting our shit together and heading out the door to venture downtown. It ended up being so much fun and extremely entertaining. There were two really creepy guys there trying to pick up everyone and everything. They started with Danielle and I and ended up moving through a few of the girls that were in Alicia's b-day group. After they were done with our group they finally found a girl that would actually sit with them for at least half an hour.. it was disgusting. They were SO greasy. With the worst pick up lines ever. First they start asking me about my tattoo and what advice I would give to them if they were to get a tattoo and I was just like 'uhhh?' and then the geek with the ponytail busts out this juicy line: "You've got a tattoo on one arm and guns on the other!" ... are you fucking kidding me? Get out of here. I ditch em instantly and tell them I have to return back to my friend since it was her birthday, and they're gone for a few minutes. Then all of a sudden I'm talking to Danielle and they latch onto her in a friggen heartbeat! The bald guy starts talking to her about her clothes and how she's simple but still fashionable, and how she likes bling because she's got a huge ring on her finger. Then they tell her that she stretches certain ways for attention, and THEN captain baldo goes off and tells her that she wears too much eye makeup and it's probably because she's insecure.
It was so ridiculous haha. I would have loved to have heard everything they said to all the other girls. Sorry guys, your 'honest analyzing tactics' don't get girls in the sack. Not even close. Go buy some rogain, or better yet, cut your friends pony tail off and use some of his hair to make a wig. Fuck.
After visiting and meeting Danielle's twin (no jokes, she's pictured above this) and having a few drinks we decided we'd try to catch the skytrain but that ended up impossible so we took a cab back to Chad's place and I went home. Great night though! :) Alicia was so cute carrying around her bouquet of roses like she was the next pageant winner haha. Not to mention how good and drunk she was. I think Adam was planning on taking her home very shortly after we'd left.
Aren't they all just so cute?! I was so glad Melissa was there I haven't seen her in so long! It was great to finally catch up a little bit! Hopefully I'll see her again soon!
I went to bed around 4 in the morning finally and Danielle called around noon the next day. I totally forgot we were supposed to donate blood just before 1 and I was still in bed. So I jumped out of bed, had a shower, grabbed an orange and met her at the school where we were going to donate. It was a mad rush the whole time and probably not a great way to start donating a tenth of your blood for the first time either. Combine having drank the night before, with having eaten nothing but an orange since 5pm the night before, and a little anxiety about what it was going to be like and you get an irregular 98 beats per minute heart rate haha. They fed me some cookies and juice before I got stabbed because they were worried I would pass out but I did fine. Danielle sat and watched the whole time and kept me entertained since apparently vacationing to certain parts of dirty Mexico makes it so you can't donate for a year because of the risk of contracting malaria, but it was nice that she stayed to visit with me. We both enjoyed some cookies and peach juice afterwards and I booked an appointment to do it again in January. Then off to Dario's I went.
We had a dinner at the church at 5 so I was pretty lazy and didn't feel like getting fancy so I went looking like crap, but I didn't really care. I ate some food then Dario and I took off back to his place. Finally all of that weekend ended up with bedtime at 7am. I have no idea what's going on with me but I'm wide awake all night long... even tonight, it's already 2am hah.
Wow there's a lot of details in here today.
Today I didn't do too much. I decided to make chili for dinner and I baked up a black forest cake for Krystal for her birthday tomorrow. Since I wasn't sure if she would be home tomorrow night I decided we would eat it tonight. It was pretty effin tasty. Looked like crap, but tasty haha.
I had Dario try the chili I made since he says he's not very fond of chili usually and apparently he doesn't mind it. So I was going to send some with him for lunch tomorrow because I don't know how to make small amounts of it... I only know how to make a pot large enough to feed a family of 5 for at least 3 days. I forgot to pack it for him though before he left and didn't remember until about an hour later. So I decided I would pack a container full for him, as well as a huge piece of cake that he didn't get to have because he left before the cake was done being decorated, and some iced tea. Then I wrote a little note on a post it, put it in a plastic bag (incase it rains tonight,) grabbed some tape and drove to his house. It was midnight by this time by the way haha. I taped the note to his window and put the bag in the box of his truck so that he could at least enjoy some cake tomorrow (if in fact he is lying about liking the chili!)
Aside from all of that craziness, one last thing: For those of you who have food network... watch it at 9pm monday to friday. They've got this food network challenge show where they give people like 8 hours to make the most AMAZING cakes and chocolate sculptures and blah blah blah, it's fantastic. I am so obsessed with it haha. The themes are usually pretty cool and what they pull outta their asses is insane. 'Scuse the vulgarity.
There, you're updated. I probably missed quite a bit but this is a very long post for now.
Anyways...
The weekend was a good one. On Friday Dario came over and after he left I decided that I would meet up with Leaura (lee-are-ah) at the Foggy Dew for her b-day. She finally turned 19 which is insane because she always seemed so much older to me... might have something to do with the fact that she's lived on her own since she was 16 haha. WHO KNOWS!! I had debated going but knew she would be upset if I didn't because we haven't seen eachother in a little while, and it ended up being a very entertaining night so I'm glad I went.
Just as I expected it was a sea of 19 year old boys with fauxhawks and affliction shirts so I used that to entertain myself. At one point there was a guy completely imitating chuck liddel but doing a HORRIBLE job of representation as the back of his shirt had a bunch of ice cream cones on it. HAH. I pointed out how lame his shirt was, and made sure I said it loud enough for him to hear, all the while pointing at him to assure him once more that I was in fact talking about his shitty t-shirt.
I hit 32 fauxhawks when I stopped counting. I openly mocked people all night and even pretended to be a lesbian when someone tried to hit on me. I had two girls come up to ask if I would go talk to their friend because he thought I was cute, and I informed them of my boyfriend and told them no thanks... but I didn't look over at the guy. So after they left I looked over and was just like 'oh my god what is he, 12?' He looked SO young. Then I looked back at the girls and realized that they were probably barely 19 if even 19 at all. It was absolutely ridiculous the whole night.
I ran into some guy that I recognized from Prince George. Since I couldn't remember where I knew him from or why I was recognizing his face, I rudely and very bluntly asked him who the hell he was. He told me I had no manners and I agreed that it was true but that I didn't care, and proceeded to ask again "Why do I know your face?" ... He told me his name was Jay so it wasn't ringing any bells, and then he mentioned he was from PG and it all came flooding in. His name was actually Joel, and he had tried to pick me up years ago at Earl's in PG when I was like 17 max, and then I also remembered I knew him through my ex so I just instantly hated him all over again haha. He's such a creepy guy and I'd heard a lot of rumours about him, and his friends are really slimey also. At the end of the night I saw him grabbing this girl by her hair going 'where do you think you're going?' and walked out with her. Like UGH woman, take a fucking hint! I'd have punched him in the face if he did that to me. Not to mention kick him in the junk.
So after the disaster that is the foggy dew, I went to bed and woke up Saturday to spend a bit of time with Dario. We hung out and watched some tv then I went home to get ready for Alicia's birthday. I met Danielle at her place and we skytrained it to Adams house for some pre-drinking and visiting. Adams roommate had two bunnies and now I'm obsessed with them all over again and want one. I've always had rabbits growing up so I kinda miss their cute cuddliness!
We did a bunch of visiting and mocked Adam's pathetic mustache attempt only to find out that he'd actually trimmed it so he didn't look so trashy for Alicia's party. Awww <3.
Around 9:30 or 10 we accomplished getting our shit together and heading out the door to venture downtown. It ended up being so much fun and extremely entertaining. There were two really creepy guys there trying to pick up everyone and everything. They started with Danielle and I and ended up moving through a few of the girls that were in Alicia's b-day group. After they were done with our group they finally found a girl that would actually sit with them for at least half an hour.. it was disgusting. They were SO greasy. With the worst pick up lines ever. First they start asking me about my tattoo and what advice I would give to them if they were to get a tattoo and I was just like 'uhhh?' and then the geek with the ponytail busts out this juicy line: "You've got a tattoo on one arm and guns on the other!" ... are you fucking kidding me? Get out of here. I ditch em instantly and tell them I have to return back to my friend since it was her birthday, and they're gone for a few minutes. Then all of a sudden I'm talking to Danielle and they latch onto her in a friggen heartbeat! The bald guy starts talking to her about her clothes and how she's simple but still fashionable, and how she likes bling because she's got a huge ring on her finger. Then they tell her that she stretches certain ways for attention, and THEN captain baldo goes off and tells her that she wears too much eye makeup and it's probably because she's insecure.
It was so ridiculous haha. I would have loved to have heard everything they said to all the other girls. Sorry guys, your 'honest analyzing tactics' don't get girls in the sack. Not even close. Go buy some rogain, or better yet, cut your friends pony tail off and use some of his hair to make a wig. Fuck.
After visiting and meeting Danielle's twin (no jokes, she's pictured above this) and having a few drinks we decided we'd try to catch the skytrain but that ended up impossible so we took a cab back to Chad's place and I went home. Great night though! :) Alicia was so cute carrying around her bouquet of roses like she was the next pageant winner haha. Not to mention how good and drunk she was. I think Adam was planning on taking her home very shortly after we'd left.
Aren't they all just so cute?! I was so glad Melissa was there I haven't seen her in so long! It was great to finally catch up a little bit! Hopefully I'll see her again soon!
I went to bed around 4 in the morning finally and Danielle called around noon the next day. I totally forgot we were supposed to donate blood just before 1 and I was still in bed. So I jumped out of bed, had a shower, grabbed an orange and met her at the school where we were going to donate. It was a mad rush the whole time and probably not a great way to start donating a tenth of your blood for the first time either. Combine having drank the night before, with having eaten nothing but an orange since 5pm the night before, and a little anxiety about what it was going to be like and you get an irregular 98 beats per minute heart rate haha. They fed me some cookies and juice before I got stabbed because they were worried I would pass out but I did fine. Danielle sat and watched the whole time and kept me entertained since apparently vacationing to certain parts of dirty Mexico makes it so you can't donate for a year because of the risk of contracting malaria, but it was nice that she stayed to visit with me. We both enjoyed some cookies and peach juice afterwards and I booked an appointment to do it again in January. Then off to Dario's I went.
We had a dinner at the church at 5 so I was pretty lazy and didn't feel like getting fancy so I went looking like crap, but I didn't really care. I ate some food then Dario and I took off back to his place. Finally all of that weekend ended up with bedtime at 7am. I have no idea what's going on with me but I'm wide awake all night long... even tonight, it's already 2am hah.
Wow there's a lot of details in here today.
Today I didn't do too much. I decided to make chili for dinner and I baked up a black forest cake for Krystal for her birthday tomorrow. Since I wasn't sure if she would be home tomorrow night I decided we would eat it tonight. It was pretty effin tasty. Looked like crap, but tasty haha.
I had Dario try the chili I made since he says he's not very fond of chili usually and apparently he doesn't mind it. So I was going to send some with him for lunch tomorrow because I don't know how to make small amounts of it... I only know how to make a pot large enough to feed a family of 5 for at least 3 days. I forgot to pack it for him though before he left and didn't remember until about an hour later. So I decided I would pack a container full for him, as well as a huge piece of cake that he didn't get to have because he left before the cake was done being decorated, and some iced tea. Then I wrote a little note on a post it, put it in a plastic bag (incase it rains tonight,) grabbed some tape and drove to his house. It was midnight by this time by the way haha. I taped the note to his window and put the bag in the box of his truck so that he could at least enjoy some cake tomorrow (if in fact he is lying about liking the chili!)
Aside from all of that craziness, one last thing: For those of you who have food network... watch it at 9pm monday to friday. They've got this food network challenge show where they give people like 8 hours to make the most AMAZING cakes and chocolate sculptures and blah blah blah, it's fantastic. I am so obsessed with it haha. The themes are usually pretty cool and what they pull outta their asses is insane. 'Scuse the vulgarity.
There, you're updated. I probably missed quite a bit but this is a very long post for now.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Alice In Chains - Nutshell
Augustana-Sunday Best
Augustana-Boston
Augustana-Not Alone
Augustana-Found My Place
Augustana-Angels
Blue Rodeo-Hasn't Hit Me Yet
Cat Power-Metal Heart
City And Colour-Day Old Hate
City And Colour-Hello, I'm In Delaware
Coldplay-Amsterdam
Deftones-Anniversary Of An Uninteresting Event
Goo Goo Dolls-Name
Goo Goo Dolls-Iris
Guns 'n' Roses-Patience
Guns 'n' Roses-Civil War
In Flames-Cloud Connected
In Flames-My Sweet Shadow
In Flames-Evil In A Closet
In Flames-Metaphor
In Flames-The Quiet Place
Killswitch Engage-Desperate Times
Lifehouse-Storm
Matt Good-Strange Days
Neil Young-Old Man
A Perfect Circle-Three Libras
Slipknot-Snuff
Staind-So Far Away
Staind-Everything Changes
Staind-It's Been Awhile
Underoath-Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape
But for tonight: Leona Lewis covering Snow Patrol-Run (A live version because it's incredible)
Augustana-Sunday Best
Augustana-Boston
Augustana-Not Alone
Augustana-Found My Place
Augustana-Angels
Blue Rodeo-Hasn't Hit Me Yet
Cat Power-Metal Heart
City And Colour-Day Old Hate
City And Colour-Hello, I'm In Delaware
Coldplay-Amsterdam
Deftones-Anniversary Of An Uninteresting Event
Goo Goo Dolls-Name
Goo Goo Dolls-Iris
Guns 'n' Roses-Patience
Guns 'n' Roses-Civil War
In Flames-Cloud Connected
In Flames-My Sweet Shadow
In Flames-Evil In A Closet
In Flames-Metaphor
In Flames-The Quiet Place
Killswitch Engage-Desperate Times
Lifehouse-Storm
Matt Good-Strange Days
Neil Young-Old Man
A Perfect Circle-Three Libras
Slipknot-Snuff
Staind-So Far Away
Staind-Everything Changes
Staind-It's Been Awhile
Underoath-Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape
But for tonight: Leona Lewis covering Snow Patrol-Run (A live version because it's incredible)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I hate days like today.
I hate decisions like these.
I hate guilt like this.
I hate feeling like this.
I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to do something for just me.
I don't know if I am capable of willingly and knowingly letting someone down.
I don't know if I have the ability to hide my emotions.
I don't know if I can do this to them.
I don't know if I can do all of these things when it is so against everything I stand for.
I don't want what goes around to come back around.
I don't know if I can practice what I've preached.
I hate decisions like these.
I hate guilt like this.
I hate feeling like this.
I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to do something for just me.
I don't know if I am capable of willingly and knowingly letting someone down.
I don't know if I have the ability to hide my emotions.
I don't know if I can do this to them.
I don't know if I can do all of these things when it is so against everything I stand for.
I don't want what goes around to come back around.
I don't know if I can practice what I've preached.
37 more days until Christmas
Today I did basically nothing. I went and had lunch with Mark, and then we went to metrotown to see if we could find 'Finding Nemo.'
It was my first retarded purchase I've done in awhile, probably not the best time for it, but it's a movie I love and I refused to just rent it and pay the 6 bucks or whatever when I could buy it and over-watch it like I do with every other movie.
We walked around the mall for awhile and reminded ourselves of how much we hate metrotown, and tried to find mens wallets. Dario needs a new one, and Mark did too but it seems like finding the "perfect" mens wallet is impossible! All men are picky about their wallets, a lot pickier than women are about purses that's for sure.
Dario needs a wallet that is able to fit in his back pocket comfortably, isn't too stiff so when he sits down it's not super annoying, is leather, and is simple.
So far everything I found today was so stupid, they had snaps and zippers and ugly bright material on the insides... not to mention you'd open them and they'd have enough room to fit an insane amount of cards. Aside from that, some of them were just plain ugly, actually most of them were, and I eventually gave up the search. I'll continue on that journey another day when I have a little more patience and am by myself. For some reason I don't like "shopping" with other people unless I know exactly what I am set out to buy. I hate making people wait for me so I usually just go through everything super quick and never get what I want.
After all the stupid mall walking Mark and I came back to my place and watched Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc. after that. I managed to get my bedding washed today and the couch blanket, but I am out of laundry detergent so I have to go buy some tomorrow to finish the rest of my laundry.
And that basically is all I did today. I tidied my room and changed the fishes water and decided to put him in a vase that I had pussy willows in. For some reason he doesn't like his little aquarium, especially when the lid is closed. He just looks so depressed so I ended up always leaving the lid open. So I decided I would put him in my flower vase for now which is a lot taller and he seems to be enjoying it a little more. Now I have to either find one specifically for him or find one to replace this one so I can put my pussy-willows back on display. I have a slight feeling that sentence is going to cause some raised eyebrows at the first read.
Tomorrow I wanna see if I can work on cleaning the house. I hate our living room so much that it's depressing. I don't mind my room because I've put pictures up and what not so it doesn't feel so lonely, but our living room has nothing because our landlords don't want us putting anything up. I wasn't even supposed to put up any pictures in my room unless I used that sticky-tac stuff, but I disobeyed those rules because fuck that noise. I need something up on my walls. I'll fix the holes before I move out, it's not like it's a major issue to cover up.
I would really like to do something with the living room, but what really? Who even knows how long I'm going to be living here for. I wouldn't mind finding a new place already, sadly enough, but now is definitely not the time to move. I can't wait until the day that Dario and I have our own place that we can decorate however we please. It will be so exciting. However that is quite a ways off from now so I get to put up with rental houses and roommates. Who knows what's going to happen when Krystal moves, she's done school in April and I think she may be going to Japan after that. Even if she doesn't, it's hard to say if she'll be sticking around or what.
It was my first retarded purchase I've done in awhile, probably not the best time for it, but it's a movie I love and I refused to just rent it and pay the 6 bucks or whatever when I could buy it and over-watch it like I do with every other movie.
We walked around the mall for awhile and reminded ourselves of how much we hate metrotown, and tried to find mens wallets. Dario needs a new one, and Mark did too but it seems like finding the "perfect" mens wallet is impossible! All men are picky about their wallets, a lot pickier than women are about purses that's for sure.
Dario needs a wallet that is able to fit in his back pocket comfortably, isn't too stiff so when he sits down it's not super annoying, is leather, and is simple.
So far everything I found today was so stupid, they had snaps and zippers and ugly bright material on the insides... not to mention you'd open them and they'd have enough room to fit an insane amount of cards. Aside from that, some of them were just plain ugly, actually most of them were, and I eventually gave up the search. I'll continue on that journey another day when I have a little more patience and am by myself. For some reason I don't like "shopping" with other people unless I know exactly what I am set out to buy. I hate making people wait for me so I usually just go through everything super quick and never get what I want.
After all the stupid mall walking Mark and I came back to my place and watched Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc. after that. I managed to get my bedding washed today and the couch blanket, but I am out of laundry detergent so I have to go buy some tomorrow to finish the rest of my laundry.
And that basically is all I did today. I tidied my room and changed the fishes water and decided to put him in a vase that I had pussy willows in. For some reason he doesn't like his little aquarium, especially when the lid is closed. He just looks so depressed so I ended up always leaving the lid open. So I decided I would put him in my flower vase for now which is a lot taller and he seems to be enjoying it a little more. Now I have to either find one specifically for him or find one to replace this one so I can put my pussy-willows back on display. I have a slight feeling that sentence is going to cause some raised eyebrows at the first read.
Tomorrow I wanna see if I can work on cleaning the house. I hate our living room so much that it's depressing. I don't mind my room because I've put pictures up and what not so it doesn't feel so lonely, but our living room has nothing because our landlords don't want us putting anything up. I wasn't even supposed to put up any pictures in my room unless I used that sticky-tac stuff, but I disobeyed those rules because fuck that noise. I need something up on my walls. I'll fix the holes before I move out, it's not like it's a major issue to cover up.
I would really like to do something with the living room, but what really? Who even knows how long I'm going to be living here for. I wouldn't mind finding a new place already, sadly enough, but now is definitely not the time to move. I can't wait until the day that Dario and I have our own place that we can decorate however we please. It will be so exciting. However that is quite a ways off from now so I get to put up with rental houses and roommates. Who knows what's going to happen when Krystal moves, she's done school in April and I think she may be going to Japan after that. Even if she doesn't, it's hard to say if she'll be sticking around or what.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Mint Chap Stick is my favourite
Everyone needs to update their blogs for me please. So that I can have some entertainment for half an hour of my day :)
Now that that's out of the way. hah, I'm four cards into my Christmas cards. I am making 18 in total. I might make 17 cause there's one on there where I just don't know if I'll send her one or not, considering really we never talk anymore, but I know she's sending Christmas cards and asked for my address. So who knows, we'll see.
I have a major headache happening, and it's pissing me off. But aside from that today I feel pretty good.
I called the specialist's office to find out when my appointment was, because I didn't feel like waiting another week to find out. I knew that it would take awhile to get in because with specialists it always does, but I didn't think it would be as long as it would take up north.
I had to see a ear, nose, and throat specialist about 2 years ago or some crap like that because I kept getting tonsilitis over and over, and I believe it took 3 months for me to actually see them. The reason being was because they come up there from down here, so the guy was from Vancouver and only came up every so often.
Knowing that I was like 'oh okay well maybe it will only take a month to a month and a half to get in. Buuut no my appointment is January 19th. It's crazy. But oh well, at least it wasn't for February or something even more ridiculous.
I realize I'm not eating much right now. In fact I've had some crispers today but that's it. I have no desire to cook because I don't feel like I have the energy to make a full out meal. Which is probably because I'm not eating anything, so it's a vicious cycle really. I'm really tired of cooking for one too, it sucks. If I knew I had someone who relied on me to make them healthy meals, I would cook all the time, but since it's just me I don't really care and I just make whatevers quick.
Speaking of which, Dario and I decided to go out for dinner last night. I guess I am brutally easy to please because I was elated at the thought of going for a simple dinner and possibly a movie afterwards.
We were going to head to anducci's and then go to the theatre afterwards, but when we got there there was the red robin right next to it and I thought, yeah lets just go there it's cheaper, not to mention I don't often crave italian foods anymore since I eat them on a regular basis.
I got two things that consisted of my absolute favourite staples: cheese and potatoes. I had a baked potato soup and some mozza sticks, and the soup came with a couple slices of cheese bread which made me even happier. See? Easy to please.
I enjoyed it though because I realized Dario and I very rarely go out for dinner as just the two of us, when we go out it's always in groups. Due to where I live (and the limited space to fit a kitchen table comfortably) and where he lives, we are never able to sit down at a table across from one another and actually talk. Even when I think I have nothing to say I always manage to find something and it was really great to just be out as the two of us.
Afterwards we were pretty full and both of us were sleepy, I took some midol before we left and it happened to kick in right around dinners end, so needless to say we decided to skip the movie and go back to my place and relax.
Overall the day was nice. We decided upon some very important decisions in relation to my job and our future and what not and it was really exciting... for me at least, but like I said, easy to please.
I played Mother Theresa yesterday and apparently became a friggen guidance counsellor for the day. It started with my roommate, and then my friend Megan, and then by the end of the day it moved on to my friend Jeremy. I don't think I've ever "listened" or offered as much advice as I did yesterday. Or in Jeremy's case I don't think I've ever told someone how stupid they were being. I finally got to sleep very early this morning and woke up around 11. I don't know what's going on but I can't get tired early at night anymore, so I'm going to start getting up super early, or just not sleep at all for a night and hope that it catches up to me and my sleeping pattern goes back to normal.
I need to save $9810.10 in the next year and a bit. We shall see what happens. I am going to have to do some serious cut backs. But I hope I can get relatively close to that.
Now that that's out of the way. hah, I'm four cards into my Christmas cards. I am making 18 in total. I might make 17 cause there's one on there where I just don't know if I'll send her one or not, considering really we never talk anymore, but I know she's sending Christmas cards and asked for my address. So who knows, we'll see.
I have a major headache happening, and it's pissing me off. But aside from that today I feel pretty good.
I called the specialist's office to find out when my appointment was, because I didn't feel like waiting another week to find out. I knew that it would take awhile to get in because with specialists it always does, but I didn't think it would be as long as it would take up north.
I had to see a ear, nose, and throat specialist about 2 years ago or some crap like that because I kept getting tonsilitis over and over, and I believe it took 3 months for me to actually see them. The reason being was because they come up there from down here, so the guy was from Vancouver and only came up every so often.
Knowing that I was like 'oh okay well maybe it will only take a month to a month and a half to get in. Buuut no my appointment is January 19th. It's crazy. But oh well, at least it wasn't for February or something even more ridiculous.
I realize I'm not eating much right now. In fact I've had some crispers today but that's it. I have no desire to cook because I don't feel like I have the energy to make a full out meal. Which is probably because I'm not eating anything, so it's a vicious cycle really. I'm really tired of cooking for one too, it sucks. If I knew I had someone who relied on me to make them healthy meals, I would cook all the time, but since it's just me I don't really care and I just make whatevers quick.
Speaking of which, Dario and I decided to go out for dinner last night. I guess I am brutally easy to please because I was elated at the thought of going for a simple dinner and possibly a movie afterwards.
We were going to head to anducci's and then go to the theatre afterwards, but when we got there there was the red robin right next to it and I thought, yeah lets just go there it's cheaper, not to mention I don't often crave italian foods anymore since I eat them on a regular basis.
I got two things that consisted of my absolute favourite staples: cheese and potatoes. I had a baked potato soup and some mozza sticks, and the soup came with a couple slices of cheese bread which made me even happier. See? Easy to please.
I enjoyed it though because I realized Dario and I very rarely go out for dinner as just the two of us, when we go out it's always in groups. Due to where I live (and the limited space to fit a kitchen table comfortably) and where he lives, we are never able to sit down at a table across from one another and actually talk. Even when I think I have nothing to say I always manage to find something and it was really great to just be out as the two of us.
Afterwards we were pretty full and both of us were sleepy, I took some midol before we left and it happened to kick in right around dinners end, so needless to say we decided to skip the movie and go back to my place and relax.
Overall the day was nice. We decided upon some very important decisions in relation to my job and our future and what not and it was really exciting... for me at least, but like I said, easy to please.
I played Mother Theresa yesterday and apparently became a friggen guidance counsellor for the day. It started with my roommate, and then my friend Megan, and then by the end of the day it moved on to my friend Jeremy. I don't think I've ever "listened" or offered as much advice as I did yesterday. Or in Jeremy's case I don't think I've ever told someone how stupid they were being. I finally got to sleep very early this morning and woke up around 11. I don't know what's going on but I can't get tired early at night anymore, so I'm going to start getting up super early, or just not sleep at all for a night and hope that it catches up to me and my sleeping pattern goes back to normal.
I need to save $9810.10 in the next year and a bit. We shall see what happens. I am going to have to do some serious cut backs. But I hope I can get relatively close to that.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I am so tired.
I'm obsessed I know. But it pisses me off. I tried to explain to Dario how a woman feels when she screws up baking or cooking... so did his mother, but he just didn't get it. I said "relate it to screwing up in a sporting event and causing a loss" and she said "haven't you ever tried to build something and had it turn out poorly?" but again, he replied "no." pfft, smart ass.
Anyways, it started off perfectly, it looked like it should while it was cooking. I didn't even take a picture of the screw up because it was embarrassing, but lets just say for SOME reason unknown to me, this cake rose like 2 inches ABOVE the pan? Like what the shit? Cheesecake isn't supposed to rise THAT much!
The toffee/caramel topping turned out at least, I was a little unsure of what it'd be like but it wasn't too bad. There's a lot left over too so I guess I can use it for icecream or something.
The mess of dishes afterwards. Get this. You see that light green bowl in the sink? I filled that with greek salad for Dario for lunch. FILLED IT! I used 3 peppers, an entire cucumber, 2 tomatoes, half a red onion, and half a smaller container of feta cheese. HE ATE THE ENTIRE THING! Who fuckin eats that much? I seriously don't understand. Ever since I made it for him the first time he's been obsessed with it and always asks me to make it, and every time I do he wants me to make more than I did last time. He claims he can eat as much of it as he wants because its vegetables but I tried to explain to him that there is about a third of a cup or more of olive oil in there, which isn't exactly the best thing for you, not to mention the feta.
Anyways, after I carved away at the sides that were too brown for my liking, and cut a bunch of crap off the top (it was so weird it like... had a seperate layer on the top of the cake that wasn't even really attached to the cake, it was fucked up. Really should have taken a picture) I decided it would be best to put some whip cream on the sides and just cover the top in toffee. It wasn't the best looking thing, but whatever I guess.
The day was nice. Dario and I relaxed at the house for a little while. I made him his retardedly large greek salad to eat while I got the cake baking. He watched some movies with my roommate for a bit while I finished up in the kitchen then he decided to head home shortly after to cut his hair. His mom had asked us if we wanted to have pizza at their place so we said sure and I headed over there for dinner. After that we just laid around and watched some tv. Like I said, relaxed evening.
I've been home from work for a week now. My boss has asked me if I would like him to lay me off so I could stay home but still get paid through EI and rest and just focus on getting this shit figured out. I told him I'd keep it in mind and would try to be there for Wednesday. Somehow last night though I didn't sleep at all. I'm talking I laid in bed wide awake, tossing and turning until 8am this morning. I finally fell asleep for a couple of hours and got out of bed wide awake again. Not only did my gut hurt all night and I couldn't find a position that felt comfortable enough to sleep in, I also started to stress out about work today. All night all I could think about was 'I have to go to work. I have to go to work. I have to go to work. I need sleep. I need sleep. I have to go to work in the morning. Just fall asleep.' But I just couldn't. Then I start getting upset because I'm worried about missing yet ANOTHER day and everything just escalates from there.
I text messaged Dario this morning and told him the situation. He advised me that I should just go into work today and take the lay off and get better. And I had already planned on going in to talk to them around lunch time but my boss was working in langley today so I have to wait until tomorrow now. It is so fucking frustrating. Normally things aren't this bad so it's just driving me crazy.
I think Dario is right and that I should just take a lay off so that I have one less aspect to worry about for a little while. The only thing I'm worried about now with doing that is my whole apprenticeship gets put on hold because normally you can't lay off apprentice's, and also because it usually takes a couple of weeks for EI to kick in. Sometimes even longer and I really can't afford that, not right now at all. So I just don't fucking know. GAH. Whatever, I need to stop thinking about it. I guess I should go and make some lunch and lay back down for awhile.
Anyways, it started off perfectly, it looked like it should while it was cooking. I didn't even take a picture of the screw up because it was embarrassing, but lets just say for SOME reason unknown to me, this cake rose like 2 inches ABOVE the pan? Like what the shit? Cheesecake isn't supposed to rise THAT much!
The toffee/caramel topping turned out at least, I was a little unsure of what it'd be like but it wasn't too bad. There's a lot left over too so I guess I can use it for icecream or something.
The mess of dishes afterwards. Get this. You see that light green bowl in the sink? I filled that with greek salad for Dario for lunch. FILLED IT! I used 3 peppers, an entire cucumber, 2 tomatoes, half a red onion, and half a smaller container of feta cheese. HE ATE THE ENTIRE THING! Who fuckin eats that much? I seriously don't understand. Ever since I made it for him the first time he's been obsessed with it and always asks me to make it, and every time I do he wants me to make more than I did last time. He claims he can eat as much of it as he wants because its vegetables but I tried to explain to him that there is about a third of a cup or more of olive oil in there, which isn't exactly the best thing for you, not to mention the feta.
Anyways, after I carved away at the sides that were too brown for my liking, and cut a bunch of crap off the top (it was so weird it like... had a seperate layer on the top of the cake that wasn't even really attached to the cake, it was fucked up. Really should have taken a picture) I decided it would be best to put some whip cream on the sides and just cover the top in toffee. It wasn't the best looking thing, but whatever I guess.
The day was nice. Dario and I relaxed at the house for a little while. I made him his retardedly large greek salad to eat while I got the cake baking. He watched some movies with my roommate for a bit while I finished up in the kitchen then he decided to head home shortly after to cut his hair. His mom had asked us if we wanted to have pizza at their place so we said sure and I headed over there for dinner. After that we just laid around and watched some tv. Like I said, relaxed evening.
I've been home from work for a week now. My boss has asked me if I would like him to lay me off so I could stay home but still get paid through EI and rest and just focus on getting this shit figured out. I told him I'd keep it in mind and would try to be there for Wednesday. Somehow last night though I didn't sleep at all. I'm talking I laid in bed wide awake, tossing and turning until 8am this morning. I finally fell asleep for a couple of hours and got out of bed wide awake again. Not only did my gut hurt all night and I couldn't find a position that felt comfortable enough to sleep in, I also started to stress out about work today. All night all I could think about was 'I have to go to work. I have to go to work. I have to go to work. I need sleep. I need sleep. I have to go to work in the morning. Just fall asleep.' But I just couldn't. Then I start getting upset because I'm worried about missing yet ANOTHER day and everything just escalates from there.
I text messaged Dario this morning and told him the situation. He advised me that I should just go into work today and take the lay off and get better. And I had already planned on going in to talk to them around lunch time but my boss was working in langley today so I have to wait until tomorrow now. It is so fucking frustrating. Normally things aren't this bad so it's just driving me crazy.
I think Dario is right and that I should just take a lay off so that I have one less aspect to worry about for a little while. The only thing I'm worried about now with doing that is my whole apprenticeship gets put on hold because normally you can't lay off apprentice's, and also because it usually takes a couple of weeks for EI to kick in. Sometimes even longer and I really can't afford that, not right now at all. So I just don't fucking know. GAH. Whatever, I need to stop thinking about it. I guess I should go and make some lunch and lay back down for awhile.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
shitty cheesecake recipe.
UUUUGH. So annoyed. I decided that today of all days that I would try out a new cheesecake recipe. Instead of sticking to my old faithful recipe that has NEVER been screwed up... I opted to try a new one. Yeah. Should have stuck to the old one. This one looks like friggen crap, and won't surprise me if it tastes like it too. I am going through extreme measures right now trying to figure out how to make it look better than a pile of dog shit. Not easy. I've cut it apart and now it's in the freezer. I need to put something around the sides of it and it'll look much better. The top will be covered with homemade toffee/caramel stuff and chunks of skor bar. So that takes care of that. Perhaps whipcream or something around the sides? yeahhh maybe that will be the best thing I can do. We'll see if it cools down in time to fix :|
The Big 2-3
Happy Birthday Dario :)
Another Birthday.
Another year of many more to come that I will be so lucky to spend with you.
I love you... so I won't embarrass you by using any "pet-like names."
Another Birthday.
Another year of many more to come that I will be so lucky to spend with you.
I love you... so I won't embarrass you by using any "pet-like names."
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Best year of your life... So far
Well the weekend is over and I can't quite sleep yet. I feel really gross right now because I just had popcorn and feel disgusting. Truth be told I shouldn't even feel full at all today because I didn't really eat that much but for some reason I'm very fat feeling. Whatevs. Bring it on.
We celebrated Dario's birthday last night at the Mountain Shadow. Obvs our usual spot for sporting events and Dario feels most at home there. It was a good turn out and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I finally remembered to make reservations thank god cause yet again the whole one side of the upstairs was reserved for a fundraiser for a boy who has cancer.
I played DD this weekend and am making a concious decision to not drink for the rest of this month at least. There are a ton of birthdays this month so it should be an entertaining challenge. The reason being is obvs for my health and b) cause I'm spending waaaaaay too much money on shit like this and I just can't afford it with all the time I'm missing from work. After Dario's birthday comes hockey night at the Ciavarro's and polenta party at the Perizzolo's. The following weekend is my friend Leaura's 19th birthday (I can't believe she's actually that young, I always forget she isn't even 19 yet since she definitely doesn't have the maturity of an 18 year old.) The day after Leaura's partay is miss Alicia's birthday evening. Which obvs I will be attending. :) A few days later it is my roommates birthday so I have no idea what will be happening then but I'm sure we'll end up at a pub in celebration as usual. Then Finally the month will be nearing an end and Dario and I will close it off nicely with a concert. Christmas party season will be opening early December starting with the Make Love To My Balls party and then there will be the work Christmas parties but I probably won't be here for mine. SO many events going on it's madness I tell you!
Jennifer Garner is very odd looking with her hair pulled back. Kind of elf-ish.
I have finally made progress with my doctor and am now waiting to hear back from a specialist with an appointment. I should hear from their office within the next two weeks confirming an appointment so hopefully it won't take months to get in like it usually does but I'm sure I'll have to wait at least a month. In the mean time I guess I will be surviving on pain killers. Regardless for the first time in a long time I have a bit of relief knowing that I might just get somewhere with it all.
I think at the end of this month I am going to donate blood with Danielle. She goes and does it all the time and I got an e-mail talking about the short supply of donors and I thought, why not give it a shot? Of course that only stands if I don't have sex with any men who have sex with other men, or for some reason have been around monkeys in the last year. As long as Dario is faithful to me and isn't out boning other men I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear to donate!
I kind of enjoy all of this madness going on around me. At the same time it's a little bittersweet as I've been having to avoid going to certain things due to feeling poopy, but I'm hoping for a good end to a very short feeling year.
I wish Dario and I were married and living in our own house so that we would be able to host events/parties when we want to. Having a roommate makes it a little tricky to do what you want since you have to run everything by eachother when you do have people over. Not to mention I definitely don't have the room here or the seating to have too many people over. It sucks big time. It's hard to believe that Dario and I have already been dating for over a year and a half. I don't even know where all the time has gone. While we were at the banquet I had realized it'd been an entire year of all of the crazy Italian events and I had finally experienced about 98% of them. And as I told him, this has been the best year of my life... and as Homer would say "Best year of your life... so far."
I finally read "the five languages of love" or whatever it's called. My roommate is now hooked. I bought it Friday and finished it Saturday hah. I had a very laid back Saturday morning with much time to kill. Good book though it had some definite points in it.
Well I suppose it's 10:30 and I should finally get going to bed. I didn't take any pictures of Dario's birthday or anything else this week for that matter so, no pictures for you.
We celebrated Dario's birthday last night at the Mountain Shadow. Obvs our usual spot for sporting events and Dario feels most at home there. It was a good turn out and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I finally remembered to make reservations thank god cause yet again the whole one side of the upstairs was reserved for a fundraiser for a boy who has cancer.
I played DD this weekend and am making a concious decision to not drink for the rest of this month at least. There are a ton of birthdays this month so it should be an entertaining challenge. The reason being is obvs for my health and b) cause I'm spending waaaaaay too much money on shit like this and I just can't afford it with all the time I'm missing from work. After Dario's birthday comes hockey night at the Ciavarro's and polenta party at the Perizzolo's. The following weekend is my friend Leaura's 19th birthday (I can't believe she's actually that young, I always forget she isn't even 19 yet since she definitely doesn't have the maturity of an 18 year old.) The day after Leaura's partay is miss Alicia's birthday evening. Which obvs I will be attending. :) A few days later it is my roommates birthday so I have no idea what will be happening then but I'm sure we'll end up at a pub in celebration as usual. Then Finally the month will be nearing an end and Dario and I will close it off nicely with a concert. Christmas party season will be opening early December starting with the Make Love To My Balls party and then there will be the work Christmas parties but I probably won't be here for mine. SO many events going on it's madness I tell you!
Jennifer Garner is very odd looking with her hair pulled back. Kind of elf-ish.
I have finally made progress with my doctor and am now waiting to hear back from a specialist with an appointment. I should hear from their office within the next two weeks confirming an appointment so hopefully it won't take months to get in like it usually does but I'm sure I'll have to wait at least a month. In the mean time I guess I will be surviving on pain killers. Regardless for the first time in a long time I have a bit of relief knowing that I might just get somewhere with it all.
I think at the end of this month I am going to donate blood with Danielle. She goes and does it all the time and I got an e-mail talking about the short supply of donors and I thought, why not give it a shot? Of course that only stands if I don't have sex with any men who have sex with other men, or for some reason have been around monkeys in the last year. As long as Dario is faithful to me and isn't out boning other men I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear to donate!
I kind of enjoy all of this madness going on around me. At the same time it's a little bittersweet as I've been having to avoid going to certain things due to feeling poopy, but I'm hoping for a good end to a very short feeling year.
I wish Dario and I were married and living in our own house so that we would be able to host events/parties when we want to. Having a roommate makes it a little tricky to do what you want since you have to run everything by eachother when you do have people over. Not to mention I definitely don't have the room here or the seating to have too many people over. It sucks big time. It's hard to believe that Dario and I have already been dating for over a year and a half. I don't even know where all the time has gone. While we were at the banquet I had realized it'd been an entire year of all of the crazy Italian events and I had finally experienced about 98% of them. And as I told him, this has been the best year of my life... and as Homer would say "Best year of your life... so far."
I finally read "the five languages of love" or whatever it's called. My roommate is now hooked. I bought it Friday and finished it Saturday hah. I had a very laid back Saturday morning with much time to kill. Good book though it had some definite points in it.
Well I suppose it's 10:30 and I should finally get going to bed. I didn't take any pictures of Dario's birthday or anything else this week for that matter so, no pictures for you.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A Chance Of A Lifetime Or A Mistake?
In the near future I may have to make one of the toughest decisions I will have to make to date.
I love my job. I love the people I work with and I love the feeling I get when I accomplish something that not everyone can do. Most of all I love the opportunities this job has given me in the last year and a half.
My health is getting worse and worse, and I fear that there is going to come a day soon where I may have to make the decision of choosing between my job and my health.
Obviously your health will be of much more value than your job, but it is difficult none the less.
I am worried that if my health continues on this downward spiral that I will no longer be able to do a job that I love. A job that I am slowly becoming unable to do as I physically can't push myself as hard as I once used to.
The result of this of course is finding a new job.
Finding a new job.
It sounds simple enough and probably not that big of deal to many people... but when you feel pressure of having to possibly quit a job that you actually love because of something you cannot control it becomes extremely overwhelming.
How do you tell a boss you don't want to let down, that you indeed will do exactly that? When is the right time to talk to them about the prospect of it? How do you face the fears of not knowing what will come of it all and take a huge leap of faith into unexplored waters? Do you tell them at all that it is a possibility you may have to quit or do you not say a word until that time actually comes?
I don't know what words to use to explain any of this. I am emotionally drained.
This may be an opportunity of a lifetime or it could end up being a huge mistake.
I go to the doctors tomorrow. Dario is going to be at my side. I am hoping to maybe gain at least a few answers. I need to know what is wrong so I can figure out how to work my life around it.
I just don't know when the right time would be to tell my bosses of these possibilities, how I would tell them, or if I even tell them at all beforehand.
I just don't know.
I love my job. I love the people I work with and I love the feeling I get when I accomplish something that not everyone can do. Most of all I love the opportunities this job has given me in the last year and a half.
My health is getting worse and worse, and I fear that there is going to come a day soon where I may have to make the decision of choosing between my job and my health.
Obviously your health will be of much more value than your job, but it is difficult none the less.
I am worried that if my health continues on this downward spiral that I will no longer be able to do a job that I love. A job that I am slowly becoming unable to do as I physically can't push myself as hard as I once used to.
The result of this of course is finding a new job.
Finding a new job.
It sounds simple enough and probably not that big of deal to many people... but when you feel pressure of having to possibly quit a job that you actually love because of something you cannot control it becomes extremely overwhelming.
How do you tell a boss you don't want to let down, that you indeed will do exactly that? When is the right time to talk to them about the prospect of it? How do you face the fears of not knowing what will come of it all and take a huge leap of faith into unexplored waters? Do you tell them at all that it is a possibility you may have to quit or do you not say a word until that time actually comes?
I don't know what words to use to explain any of this. I am emotionally drained.
This may be an opportunity of a lifetime or it could end up being a huge mistake.
I go to the doctors tomorrow. Dario is going to be at my side. I am hoping to maybe gain at least a few answers. I need to know what is wrong so I can figure out how to work my life around it.
I just don't know when the right time would be to tell my bosses of these possibilities, how I would tell them, or if I even tell them at all beforehand.
I just don't know.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
I've fuckin had it! UGH
http://www.endo-resolved.com/symptoms.html
I want to print that out. And highlight every fucking thing I have and give it to my stupid fuckin doctor so he gets the hint.
I have written a list of my symptoms, a list of medications I've tried that have failed, my family history having to do with these problems, and the amount of time I've missed from work since January 6, 2008.
Yeah, excluding holidays, 20 fuckin days of missed work. TWENTY DAYS!
I have blood test results that should be back by the end of the week. I am going to make an appointment, and drive a fucking point home to this stupid doctor until somebody fucking listens.
FUCK!
I want to print that out. And highlight every fucking thing I have and give it to my stupid fuckin doctor so he gets the hint.
I have written a list of my symptoms, a list of medications I've tried that have failed, my family history having to do with these problems, and the amount of time I've missed from work since January 6, 2008.
Yeah, excluding holidays, 20 fuckin days of missed work. TWENTY DAYS!
I have blood test results that should be back by the end of the week. I am going to make an appointment, and drive a fucking point home to this stupid doctor until somebody fucking listens.
FUCK!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Italians and Yip Yips
Melissa has told me I need to update, and seeing the date of my last blog she is probably right. There's been a lot going on I suppose but not so much that it's major hectic life or anything.
Friday night a few of us got together at my place for some junk food and a few drinks along with most of us wearing very last minute costume ideas. Somehow every year I end up leaving things till the last minute and it's next to impossible to come up with something great. So this year I just put a couple gashes on my face and called er a day.
My camera taking abilities are seemingly non existent lately. I have hardly been taking any pictures at all and I don't really know why. I take a few but then I'm like, meh. However I have a rather entertaining video of Pat that I need to learn how to upload to youtube or something? I am trying to get it going right now but I clearly have no idea if it's actually going to work. So bare with me, if I get it going by the end of this post I will attach a link.
Everything is screwing around. I am uploading pictures and it's uploading them all backwards and shit. So I might just give up on any sort of organization and what you see is what you get haha. I'm not very computer savvy so this will have to do.
Saturday night was the banquet which turned out to be a success. I kept my drinking to a minimum and didn't even get slightly drunk. I didn't want a repeat of last year where I embarrassingly puked my guts out in the bathroom and had to leave unexpectedly due to being way too wasted. I've mastered the art of red wine. Actually I still haven't, I have just learned to not drink as much of it haha. I also learned that if I want to avoid getting drunk but still want that winey taste, I just put a little in a glass and fill the rest up with 7up. Works for me!
Before the banquet I went over and did Danielle's hair... because I'm crazy and am obsessed with being able to do peoples hair obvs. So since it didn't take nearly as long as I thought it was going to, I went to Dario's early and waited for him to get ready.
Sunday there was mass at 2 in the afternoon. Unfortunately for me the entire thing was in italian so it was a little difficult following along at all, and sadly enough it was a little boring since well, I'm not really able to pay attention seeing as how I don't know what's being said in the first place, but I guess that all comes with dating an italian. It didn't help that my usual translator was outside roasting some pigs so I sat with Chad and Danielle and waited for the end of the mass to near. It would have been a very nice mass I'm sure, it seemed really nice. And I'm also sure that the speeches were very nice as well, but yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I still feel very very out of place in those environments. They were recognizing volunteers and were calling everyone up to the front of the church, when they said my name it stuck out like a sore thumb haha. It was so embarrassing. When every other name ends in "a" or "o" and then all of a sudden you get this "marlee mcconnell" haha it sounds bruuuuuuutal in and amongst the rest!
But after all of that was over we went out to another place and had some pig, panino's and wine.
On another note, I went to the doctors today to get another blood test done. After I was done that I motored on over to costco and got myself a membership there. I figured it'd be a good idea seeing as how I spent 200 bucks on food there today but probably got two months worth of meat and obvs a few other extras in there too. I kept things pretty basic though, I seriously mostly bought meat. And a massive block of jalapeno havarti cheese haha. mmmmmmm SO good.
I'm trying to figure out the best way for me to grocery shop, I was trying on spending 60 bucks a week, but I found that when I had to buy things like razor blades or anything else toiletry, it knocked off what you could buy for food. When I think about it 240 bucks a month on food really isn't much at all, but I think if I shop in bulk like at costco, then it definitely carries a little further. So this is why I'm trying things this way. I'm hoping too that buy shopping this way I can even out what I'm spending in bills every two weeks. It seems like the end of the month paycheck always goes directly towards most of my bills, and then the first paycheck always ends up having a bunch of money left over after the bills are paid. So who knows, we'll see if this goes over well. I wanna get my shit figured out for the new year so I can set myself a financial goal, as opposed to setting myself a weight loss goal like usual haha. At least the financial situation I do a little better with.
The necklace I bought my mom for Christmas from the internet finally arrived and it is BEAUTIFUL! I want it. Like I am still actually debating giving it to her because I like it that much, but I know it was meant for her so I need to stop looking at it. I should wrap it so I can't touch it again haha.
It was my brother's birthday today and my friend Amber's as well. I phoned both of them earlier to wish them a happy birthday but my brother couldn't talk long seeing as how I disrupted him at work hah! Some people worked today unlike me. However I did get a little pissed off when I was finally going to go replace my shitty bankcard that hardly ever swipes only to find that the frickin bank was closed today. Not impressed. Oh well I'll save it for another day.
I've invited Dario over for dinner tomorrow night. I have no idea what I'm going to make yet but perhaps a roast. mmm roast. I haven't had that in foreeeeeeever. With some mashed potatoes because i frickin love mashed potatoes haha.
ps I've also given up on my dislike for eating baby animals and decided that at the banquet this year I would eat ALL of my veal and even some of the salmon. That's right, I was THAT hungry. The actual main course took sooooo long to get around to our table (we were at the back) so by the time it got there we were all starving.
Alright so far no juice on this friggen video so you guys may just have to wait awhile, but I promise if I ever figure out this thing called youtube then I will link it just for Pat. For now, I'm going to get ready for bed. Enjoy the very out of order pictures :P
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