Le Sucky Balls

Dear dad,

I am writing to kindly remind you that you need to confirm the gun transfer before the transfer can be finalized.

If you have already done so, please disregard this message.

If you have not already done so, I suggest you get the fuck on it.

Love,

Your Coolest Daughter


... Yes that's right, he still hasn't finished his end of the bargain! I sent him a "friendly reminder" this morning to tell him to get on it. Hopefully the guns will be in my name soon so that I can maybe take them out and play target practice before I get out hunting. He claims he's getting old and forgetful so he will try to remember to call them this week. I call bullshit.

Why is applying for a student loan such a complicated thing? This is seriously ridiculous. First off my income is pretty much equal to dick squat, therefor a loan is necessity in this scenario. There's no way I could have saved up for school in this 11 month time frame. So I've been trying to figure out all this loan business.

I was going to go to the bank but my friend told me to try to apply for a student loan first. I started an application and was immediately rejected on the second question. "Will you be working full time while attending school?" ... "yes" ... "Sorry, you are not eligible for a full-time loan."

Go fuck yourself.

So I called today to see if there was a way around it. I explained that yes I would still be working Monday to Friday because I was only going to school Saturdays, Sundays, and Monday nights. She told me "Oh okay, then what you need to do is apply for a PART-time student loan."

Perfect. I print out the application, I fill out all of my information, then I get to the part that the school has to fill out. I send an e-mail to someone at JCI to ask her who I would see about filling out that portion, and she informed me that I would have to apply for a FULL-time loan because the course is considered FULL TIME... even though it's only 20 hours a week. Apparently because it's such an intense load of work in those 20 hours it's equal to a full time course.

The catch to applying for a full time loan is that you cannot do so if you work more than 32 hours per week. Ahhh school loans, you yet again bite me in the ass, just like round one.

I will fucking win this loan battle once and for all!

So now it's looking like it's time for Plan B. Which is to go to the bank and try. Which ORIGINALLY was plan A, but then my friend told me to try for a student loan first. He told me "it's so easy they give money to anyone." ... Oh really?

Apparently not d-bag.

Seriously though, can you sense the bitterness?

Plan C will consist of doing a payment plan with the school. And plan D will consist of becoming a hooker.

Guess I should start picking out my finest pair of high heels now. Does anyone have a pair of thigh high white boots like the hookers on seymour have?

Seriously though, it will get figured out. I do have a plan D should it resort to that, but hopefully this will all end with Plan B.

Also, my phone arrived today. It's about time. I was confused because I got a UPS letter under the door saying they tried to drop something off but I have to be there to sign for it yadda yadda so they would try again tomorrow night... then randomly I had a text message from my landlord telling me I have a package in the laundry room. I was quite confused because I was already highly disappointed that I would have to wait ANOTHER day for my new phone. So unless they just left a note anyways, I may have another package? But I'm not expecting anything so I think they just screwed up.

Now that sucker is charging and I should be able to start using it tomorrow. If I can figure it out in time. It's really girly, white and pink with some blue and shit on there. Little flippy out keyboard thing which I am horrible at using. I hate adjusting to the new phone thing.

Oh well. At least it's something new and shiny to keep my attention for awhile.