Insert Tab A into Slut B

Shaz sent this to Danielle, and Danielle sent it to me. So this morning I am going through the website and enjoying my Friday morning.

My favourite one today (so far) on the first page:

(650): so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.(415): What...you let him do that?
(650): It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow

A few other good ones:

(702): Its only 8 and she is already passed out
(1-702): Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2

(847): my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
(224): I'm with your mom on this one.

(801): just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.

(330): You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha

(559): my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.

(901): Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

(619): he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?

(603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
(508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

Anyways.. I suppose that's enough for now. Time to get my work day started and finished! CAMPING THIS WEEKEND YAAAY! :D