Oh how food will be the death of me.

Sigh. I just did my first grocery shop of the year. Since I have been eating like complete shit in the last few weeks, I figured I'd bust out with a major veggie/healthy food shopping spree. I found this recipe before I left for a low-fat/low-calorie chicken veggie stew and it actually sounds really good. So I picked up the stuff for that. But while I was shopping I thought a lot about this show I was watching yesterday. And let me tell you, I have never seen anything like it.

It was on Womens network or whatever, channel 19 for you members of shaw... and it was a british dieting competition show thing. It was called... get this... "three fat women, one thin dress."

Basically, they have three really fat broads who are getting married, and they each get to pick a skinny dress of their dreams. They are then under the complete control/watch of this crazy british bitch who comes into their houses and talks about all the crap their eating and takes them for major health lessons. At the end of the show the girl who is most committed to this new way of life, wins the dress of her dreams.

I found this interesting, because most weight loss shows will tell you of the harm you're doing to your body and tell you how you're going to have a heart attack blah blah blah, but honestly, is there anyone out there that is REALLY that terrified of that shit? No, because we still all eat like shit, we still eat crap out of packages because it tastes amazing, and we're told so often of the effects that nobody really takes it that seriously.

So for these three women, she took them to a hospital and such places and showed them actual body parts of people who ate precisely like them. It was pretty gross. What they did in turn, was shove those body parts into empty chip bags etc so that when the girls opened them, they could see exactly what foods were effecting what etc etc. It was pretty gross.

Then to add onto all of this, and this just about made me puke... she had them each go into an outhouse, and take a dump into a little porta-bowl...

Fucking. Sick.

She actually sat there and analyzed their poos, and told them what a healthy fiber-full diet poo should be like and smell like!! It was so disgusting, but it only further more rubbed it in their faces of their equally disgusting diet. (One chick deep fried EVERYTHING, no jokes, everything she ate was deepfried.)

She even gave them healthy alternatives to the things they loved. Like chocolate for instance. She combined a banana, some skim milk, and some cocoa powder and blended it to make a shake. Gross you say, but at the same time, it's much much healthier, it's not packed full of sugar or fat, and cocoa powder is actually an excellent source of antioxidants which are also really good for your skin! It was just all really interesting actually.

By the end of the show, it wasn't like each woman had lost a tremendous amount of weight or anything, they were just following a healthier life style and getting a little more exercise in (nothing major just a little bit extra cardio) and just with that change, they began to drop weight naturally. Each of them lost about 15-20 lbs in the 8 weeks. So again, it's not a major crash diet where your body goes into starvation mode, it's just a healthier way of life.

So I donno, while I was out grocery shopping today, all I could think about was those disgusting poos, and how I don't want my poo to look like that, and about their disgusting bellies, AND the disgusting body parts and shit that they showed them. It led to me buying absolutely no junkfood or anything even close to junkfood, and decided to get back on the track I was on before I stopped working. I've been so lazy lately that I just don't feel like cooking since I don't take the leftovers for lunch the next day they just end up sitting in my fridge and rotting.

I really should take better care of myself since heart disease is a major problem in my family. My grandma on my dads side has had 3 angioplast surgeries, and a quadruple bypass. They wanted to do a quintuple but decided it was too risky. In total she has 10 arteries that are permanently damaged/clogged. 4 were 100% and the rest were between 40-90% clogged. She's only in her early 70's and her health is the absolute shits. As for my grandpa on my moms side, he had a double bypass and he seems to be doing well, but his health still isn't the greatest.

The way you put on weight is a problem, if you carry it in your stomach area, you're more at risk for heart disease... where as if you're pear shaped you're still at risk, just not as bad since the fat isn't collecting around your organs.

So I have two major things against me... I'm a belly-fat collector, and heart disease runs in my family... so I guess I should take things a little more seriously before it ends up being too late one day. I don't really wanna die when I'm only 70, that's still quite young.

Now onto getting dinner started, I'm frickin starving!!