Nothing says Merry Christmas like brain cancer

Every now and again you develop and lose a relationship.

When I was in highschool I dated this guy on and off for 4 years. The last year being just after I graduated then we finally called it quits.

Things were always rocky, we didn't have the best of relationships, we had a ton of problems and at points hated eachother. We stopped talking for months at a time and would some how end up talking again. As usual we'd end up fighting about something because we have so many different opinions and live our lives so differently and it would cause us to stop talking.

Somehow after years and years of this crap we have finally reached a point where we've just accepted the other person for who they are and have dropped everything from the past and can finally be civil towards eachother. We're not extremely close or anything like that, but we still have the odd conversation. It usually starts and ends with talking about his new girlfriends and his problems that he's got going on with all these chicks. Oddly I'm giving relationship advice to an ex? Weird? Yep. It is.

He confides in me a lot when it comes to his twin sister (who's become addicted to drugs) or his family. Mainly because I knew them all for so long that I know the history behind the situations so I guess I'm easier to take advice from than someone who doesn't understand his family.

He's always had an extremely weird way of living his life. He has no emotional attachment to people at all. He only loves his parents because they're his parents, he doesn't love them because he has a relationship with them. He feels like they've only wronged him his entire life and so he just doesn't give a shit about them really.

I went on msn tonight and he was on. He said hello so I said the usual "hey hows it goin?"

I got the reply: "Pops has brain cancer."

Like wow talk about not knowing how to respond to something like that.

Brett says:
pops has brain cancer
:.Marlee.: says:
What?
:.Marlee.: says:
are you serious?
Brett says:
yeah just got the call from the mom
Brett says:
2 huge tumors
:.Marlee.: says:
jesus
:.Marlee.: says:
are you okay?
Brett says:
yeah im good
:.Marlee.: says:
i'm so sorry to hear
Brett says:
pretty crazy haha

I guess my heart kind of sank when he added the "haha" ... I only knew his parents for a few years and even I find it to be extremely mind blowing news.

I would be going out of my mind with grief at this point if this were happening to me. I would collapse if I heard news like that about my dad. I know the relationship is extremely different, but you would think that in a situation like that the initial shock factor would be huge.

I don't even really know what to say to him. I advised him that both of his parents are going to need him, whether he has a good relationship with them or not, it's a time of importance and you can never stress enough on how badly people need those who love them close by. He knows his moms going to need him, but doesn't think his dad will. I however feel differently and think that his usual thick-headed dad won't be so thick-headed this time around, cause I guess now he doesn't have too much time to waste. The fear of death changes people immensely and I think if there will ever be a time where his dad's going to get off his high horse, it would be now.

Brett's best friend is busting his balls about how he is handling this. Telling him that he is extremely selfish that he won't come down to the hospital to see his parents. He even offered to go with him and Brett still refused.

I guess I am just stunned by the lack of reaction. I just don't feel like anyone who reacts like this in these types of situations is really okay. His dad was rushed to the hospital by ambulance because he came home and couldn't even speak, couldn't remember who he was, has been having crazy headaches, and can't remember next to anything. When Bretts mom phoned to say that they found two tumours in his brain, Brett stayed at home and went on msn. He called his sister to tell her the news since she was out with her friends, and she replied "oh wow" and stayed out with her friends. Neither of them went to the hospital to be there for their dad or to offer their mom support. I find it very disrespectful, and selfish.

Brett's best friend Lloyd and I were talking and oddly enough Lloyd had to go to the hospital to get some shit out of his eye and he ran into them in the ER. He said that Bretts mom looked so upset, and his dad looked over and said "what are you doing here?" then fell asleep. It's just... it's insane. I can't imagine ever reacting that way.

I asked Brett if he was gonna come down to Vancouver with his mom and dad and he said no cause he had to work since he needed money to pay for next semesters tuition.

Never in my life have I found the phrase "nothing is more important than your family" so true. I felt compelled to tell him that also.

Sadly I've said everything I can possibly say to him, about how he should be there for his family because they're all going to need eachother, and that maybe school and money isn't so important right now.

Unfortunately it had no effect and instead he just decided to clean up the house a bit before his mom comes home.

My heart breaks when I see such a lack of compassion in people. Not just him or his sister, but in anyone who is like this. But I gotta say, this is by far the worst I have ever seen. You'd think something as detrimental as this would make you put aside any ill feelings you've had towards eachother and you'd be there for the person who's going to need you. Even if that person disagrees.

I donno. I hope something changes. And I hope both Brett and his sister get their shit together and figure out what's important in life. Clearly their priorities aren't in order.

It's probably crazy for me to even care about this at all, but when you've known someone for so many years it's hard to not have something like this effect you in some way. And I feel sorry for both Brett and his sister, because I would have thought that they were a little better people than that.

I don't say much about religion often, and I particularily don't speak much of my own beliefs or my stance on religion, but this is something I will pray for. Not for the healing of his dad, but for the union of their family, because really, that's the one thing that their family needs most right now.