I am so tired.

I'm obsessed I know. But it pisses me off. I tried to explain to Dario how a woman feels when she screws up baking or cooking... so did his mother, but he just didn't get it. I said "relate it to screwing up in a sporting event and causing a loss" and she said "haven't you ever tried to build something and had it turn out poorly?" but again, he replied "no." pfft, smart ass.

Anyways, it started off perfectly, it looked like it should while it was cooking. I didn't even take a picture of the screw up because it was embarrassing, but lets just say for SOME reason unknown to me, this cake rose like 2 inches ABOVE the pan? Like what the shit? Cheesecake isn't supposed to rise THAT much!


The toffee/caramel topping turned out at least, I was a little unsure of what it'd be like but it wasn't too bad. There's a lot left over too so I guess I can use it for icecream or something.


The mess of dishes afterwards. Get this. You see that light green bowl in the sink? I filled that with greek salad for Dario for lunch. FILLED IT! I used 3 peppers, an entire cucumber, 2 tomatoes, half a red onion, and half a smaller container of feta cheese. HE ATE THE ENTIRE THING! Who fuckin eats that much? I seriously don't understand. Ever since I made it for him the first time he's been obsessed with it and always asks me to make it, and every time I do he wants me to make more than I did last time. He claims he can eat as much of it as he wants because its vegetables but I tried to explain to him that there is about a third of a cup or more of olive oil in there, which isn't exactly the best thing for you, not to mention the feta.


Anyways, after I carved away at the sides that were too brown for my liking, and cut a bunch of crap off the top (it was so weird it like... had a seperate layer on the top of the cake that wasn't even really attached to the cake, it was fucked up. Really should have taken a picture) I decided it would be best to put some whip cream on the sides and just cover the top in toffee. It wasn't the best looking thing, but whatever I guess.


The day was nice. Dario and I relaxed at the house for a little while. I made him his retardedly large greek salad to eat while I got the cake baking. He watched some movies with my roommate for a bit while I finished up in the kitchen then he decided to head home shortly after to cut his hair. His mom had asked us if we wanted to have pizza at their place so we said sure and I headed over there for dinner. After that we just laid around and watched some tv. Like I said, relaxed evening.


I've been home from work for a week now. My boss has asked me if I would like him to lay me off so I could stay home but still get paid through EI and rest and just focus on getting this shit figured out. I told him I'd keep it in mind and would try to be there for Wednesday. Somehow last night though I didn't sleep at all. I'm talking I laid in bed wide awake, tossing and turning until 8am this morning. I finally fell asleep for a couple of hours and got out of bed wide awake again. Not only did my gut hurt all night and I couldn't find a position that felt comfortable enough to sleep in, I also started to stress out about work today. All night all I could think about was 'I have to go to work. I have to go to work. I have to go to work. I need sleep. I need sleep. I have to go to work in the morning. Just fall asleep.' But I just couldn't. Then I start getting upset because I'm worried about missing yet ANOTHER day and everything just escalates from there.

I text messaged Dario this morning and told him the situation. He advised me that I should just go into work today and take the lay off and get better. And I had already planned on going in to talk to them around lunch time but my boss was working in langley today so I have to wait until tomorrow now. It is so fucking frustrating. Normally things aren't this bad so it's just driving me crazy.

I think Dario is right and that I should just take a lay off so that I have one less aspect to worry about for a little while. The only thing I'm worried about now with doing that is my whole apprenticeship gets put on hold because normally you can't lay off apprentice's, and also because it usually takes a couple of weeks for EI to kick in. Sometimes even longer and I really can't afford that, not right now at all. So I just don't fucking know. GAH. Whatever, I need to stop thinking about it. I guess I should go and make some lunch and lay back down for awhile.