Does Negative Nancy Want to Come Out And Play?

A coma might feel better than this.

Attempting to discover where to begin.

You're weighed down, you're full of something,

of sickness, and desertion.

You're weighed down, you're full of something,

You're underneath it all.

So say goodbye to love,

and hold your head up high.

There's no need to rush.

We're all just waiting,

waiting to die.

Hoping a better place is all I need,

With moments of innocence and mystery,

Oh it's the little things you miss,

Like waking up all alone.

Oh it's the little things you miss,

when you're underneath it all.

So say goodbye to love,

and hold your head up high.

There's no need to rush.

We're all just waiting,

waiting to die.

All your friends seem like enemies when you're broken down and empty.

All your friends seem like enemies when you're broken down and empty.

So say goodbye to love,

and hold your head up high.

There's no need to rush,

we're all just waiting,

waiting to die.

That pretty much sums it up at this point. Dallas Green (aka City and Colour) has been my sad music for about 5 years now. Literally since before his first album was even released and it had leaked onto the internet. I believe that was in/around late 2004.

Funny how in 5 years I can still connect with the same songs, time and time again. Even when what I've gone through in that time involves different people and different situations.

Alicia is coming over tonight, I'm looking forward to that. We're going to have dinner. I'm not sure what yet. She's not game for my roasted chicken HAH. Poor vegetarian. I promised I would make something sans meat. I don't know what I'll make yet. I'll find something this afternoon.

I won't lie. This week all I can think about is the song Adam Sandler sings in "The Wedding Singer" where he busts out with "I'M ON MY KNEES, PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE, KIIILLL MEEEE"

Something about it still makes me laugh. Perhaps it's just how pathetic I've been these last few days. I've pretty much skipped sweat pant phase. I haven't had time to just hang out in sweatpants. I even put makeup on today. This all will eventually, slowly but surely, come to pass. I just hope time doesn't drag it's ass all over my carpet leaving behind a nice shit stain for me to clean up.

My main focus right now is to get going with my hair program in November and build my own life. After that I've got a few things in mind that I want to achieve, but I'm just going to take this one step at a time.